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Wednesday, May 21, 2008

BSF Share Day

Today was our last BSF for the year. It was "Share Day" which is a time when those who are so led, can get up and just share what God has done in their lives this year in BSF. Kind of an "open mic" session.

As I listened to some of the things that were shared, my mind kept going back to what Esther Burroughs said in our ladies retreat at church last year. "What would happen if we all truly shared what God was doing in our lives?" And I just looked around and thought, "Yes. This is it. This is what sharing is about."

Oh, friends. I came away today so encouraged and my heart is so full that it's going to take me several days to sift through some of the testimony that was shared before I tell much about it.

Until that time, I wanted to post here a summary of what I shared today.

***

This year for me has been all about next steps.

It began last summer as I went through a depression of sorts. It was a very difficult time emotionally and spiritually for me. It was a time when I felt I was without purpose. And let me tell you, there are few things more discouraging for a Christian woman who has always seen herself as a strong Christian woman than to feel a sense of purposelessness.

I'll have to share some of my journal entries from that time in my life with you all at some point... probably as a Miracle Monday post. Because friends, what Christ did in my life during that time truly is a miracle.

My reliance on Him grew and I came out of it able to really agree with Him on some things in reference to my life. It seemed that once He finally got me to agree with Him about my primary focus and purpose in life, I could finally move forward with Him. And move forward we did.

As we headed into this year of BSF, honestly my thought was, “Matthew. It’s a gospel. I’ve heard this all my life.” I almost “yadda, yadda’d” Matthew. I did not expect to have it impact my life for all eternity the way it has this year.

I learned a lot the whole year, but when I really remember some things starting to click for me was in chapter 13 when we studied the Parable of the Soils. We came across verse 12 and (for the first time of several over the remainder of the year) the concept was presented that we get more truth from Him only as we apply what we’ve already been given and we become calloused and cannot receive more if we haven’t been faithful to apply what we’ve already been given.

I realized at the time that all too often, I sit in lecture and wonder, “Why am I not getting anything out of this lecture?” I just wasn’t there with where the lecture was. But as I began to consciously listen with spiritual ears apply the truth of what I was hearing and learning in both lecture and through my daily study and questions, I began to hear more during each lesson and lecture.

Praise the God of Truth. He gives so abundantly to those who will hear.

The BSF Personal Quiet Time seminar really changed my approach to and thoughts about my quiet time. I had a consistent quiet time, and I believe God blessed my efforts to get up early and spend some time in the Bible and in prayer. For the first time in my life, I was finally consistent about doing this. But I began sensing a couple of months ago that although I was giving Him the first of my day, I wasn’t sure I was giving Him my best.

Through the seminar the Lord challenged my concrete, “Gotta get this much done” mentality and got me to focus on evaluating my progress by my growth. Seems simple, huh? But this is a concept that has eluded me for my whole Christian life.

Through all of this, the Lord seemed to be saying to me, “Okay, we started moving forward last summer, now, it’s time to continue. It’s time to take those next steps and know me more. It’s time to go deeper in your relationship with me.” I have almost audibly heard this several times in the last 9 months.

As I have talked about some of the things I’m learning and doing as I take these next steps, it has been suggested by a very dear friend that it seems as though the Lord is preparing me for something. I have no idea what, but that very well may be the case. But right now, I’m just going to rest in the knowledge, that my God and Savior, the Creator of the universe, wants me closer and closer to Him each and every day.

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