My Bloody Valentine (aka How my man scored a new toy this Valentine’s Day)

**This post is G-rated. I had requests to not post pictures, so there is nothing graphic in the body of this post. Any graphic pictures are posted as links.**

My Valentine’s Day started GREAT.

For one thing, I got to sleep late. I know 8:00 am doesn’t sound late to some of you, but when you normally get up at 5:30 am, well, that’s almost like sleeping until noon.

I have this personal little tradition to make a special breakfast on certain holidays. I’ll usually do something special on everyone’s birthday and definitely on Valentine’s Day. During the week I had planned and had every intention of making these Black Forest Buns that I heard about on Twitter last week. However, that just wasn’t going to happen, time wise. So after the fog cleared a little and the rest of the house began to stir and children began appearing out of their bedrooms, I decided to make chocolate waffles.

Good decision. They were yummy.

The day was busy and I got a lot accomplished. I did the Wii Fit for a while and got a good workout. I took a nap and put some heat on my shoulder that was hurting. You know… really pressing stuff.

Finally, after such a tiring afternoon, I decided it was time to start putting dinner together. We rarely go out for dinner on Valentine’s Day. It’s just too crowded and hard to find a babysitter. So, I had planned to make dinner here. I had wanted to do something kind of gourmet and special, but my man requested Stuffed Pork Chops. So, that’s what I planned to make. I even invited some other people over for dinner and we were just going to go ahead and have a little dinner gathering.

And then, tragedy struck.

I was chopping some Shiitake mushrooms to add to the stuffing and I felt it happen. I didn’t see it… I didn’t want to. But I had cut my finger. I yelled at my man for help as I stood fiercely gripping it over the sink. I didn’t hurt yet which, I knew had to be a bad sign. As he went to get a band-aid, I grabbed a paper towel and saw some blood as I opened my hand to hold the paper towel on it.

Then I began to get woozy.

I sat down and as we kind of talked about it and I expressed my inability to let go of it, I really began to feel woozy. I couldn’t hold my head up and I couldn’t hear anything. If you’ve never experienced the feeling of being ready to pass out… you don’t want to. It’s really bizarre.

He helped me into the bed amidst my crying and the finger finally began to hurt.

He kept talking to me and asking me questions to which all I could manage to sob was, “I don’t know.” He told me my face looked grey, to which I replied, “Because there’s no blood in my brain!” It was as if all the blood in my head had heard that there was an escape route and it all made a b-line out of my head to toward my finger. I couldn’t think, I could hardly speak. I was in a state.

After a quick peek at it and a look around the house, he surmised that we did not have the proper dressings for such a wound. Off we went to Urgent Care (what I normally call “The Quack Shack”). Thankfully, my mother in law had just arrived for dinner and was able to take the kids so that they didn’t have to witness the carnage that was yet to come.

God bless the Care Now clinic because we got there and they took me straight back. If we had gone on to the hospital, I’d have had to sit in the waiting room and might still be waiting even now.

Here’s how some of the conversation went while we were there as they asked the necessary questions:

Nurse: “How did this happen?”
Me: “While chopping some mushrooms to go in the stuffing. Which I shouldn’t have done because he doesn’t like mushrooms. I’m starting to believe in Karma.”
Nurse: “Why were you cooking on Valentine’s day? Shouldn’t you,” directed at my man, “have been cooking?”
Me: “Well, I didn’t want chili.”
Nurse laughs. My man looks shocked. Doctor give him a nod and says, “Yeah, chili!” They butt fists. *sigh* MEN.
Nurse: “When was your last Tetanus shot?”
Me: I hang my head as I realize, then answer, “February 14th, 3 years ago.”
Mike says that this is when I garnered sympathy from anyone standing nearby.

Then things got nasty. What we discovered after the doctor was able to pry my right hand away from my left was that there was nothing to stitch. I had completely sliced off a portion of the pad of my left ring finger. The doctor said they would clean it up and cauterize it to stop the bleeding. CAUTERIZE?!?

First I had to soak the finger in an antiseptic solution for 5 or so minutes. I’ll be honest. I cried like a baby and Mike had to hold my hand down in the antiseptic. It HURT.

Then came the shots. Oh the shots. Hang on… I’m getting a little light headed again just thinking about it.

*lays down, props up feet & takes a drink of water*

Okay, I’m back.

Yes, that was plural… shot-S. Things were finally starting to feel better once we got past the initial pain and stinging of the shot and I had told him that yes, it was feeling better. Mike said I was finally starting to relax. And then he STUCK me AGAIN, to which I responded, “BUT THAT DOESN’T!!!” Mike said he had to hold back the laughter at that.

Then came the cauterization. Mike is sitting there watching all of this like he’s giddy at the thought of burning flesh. He’s asking questions like a curious little boy and finds out that this tool is a one time use thing for them. The doctor tells him, “You bought it, you can take it with you if you want.” Then they began discussing all the uses they might be able to come up with for this cauterization tool at home. I had to interrupt finally and say, “UM, hellOOO. I’m laying right here. You know… the one you are currently burning!”

So, if you’re interested and not queasy, click here to see a picture of the end product. (It's actually not that bad looking, in my opinion.)

After all was said and done, I got a nice big sympathy inducing bandage.



And I have been forbidden to go near any sharp knives for 1 – 2 weeks.

We ended up getting Pei Wei for dinner and I self medicated on Red Velvet and Amaretto Truffle Cakes that my man brought home for Valentine's Day from my favorite bakery. I honestly didn't care if I gained back the entire 1.8 pounds that I lost last week.

And as I looked around the kitchen later on that evening, there I saw, lying among the Shiitake mushrooms that I was chopping, a little sliver of my finger. (Click here to see a picture.)

And Mike, he came home with a new fun little toy. He can burn stuff now. He’s giddy.



Me? I’m just having a hard time typing and washing my hair.


And that was My Bloody Valentine. How was yours?