Is it just me?

I believe I am an anomaly among women my age. I don’t mind the idea of being called “Mrs. Homemade.” It doesn’t make me think that you are referring to my mother or grandmother. In fact, I adore it.

Oh, and throw a “Ma’am” my way and you’ll be on the top of my list for LIFE.

How I long for the days of ‘yore when people who didn’t know you on an intimate level would not refer to you by your first name. I don’t mean we have to necessarily go back to the days of Jane Austen and refer to our best friend as Miss Smith.

But, there has been a trend in the United States, even here in the south, which has taken us to new and, for me at least, uncomfortable levels of familiarity among strangers. Two fairly recent instances in my personal life come to mind.

I was at Panera Bread one day having lunch with a dear girlfriend. I walked up to the counter, politely placed my order, handed the person taking my order my check card and as he handed it back to me said, “Thanks, Donna.”

WHAAT? I really wanted to reply, “I’m sorry, when did we meet before?” But I restrained myself and moved on… kind of.

And most recently I called a local spa to make an appointment to use a gift certificate I have (which incidentally I thought I had lost). Right off the bat the girl answered the phone, “Thanks for calling the Whateveritsnameis Spa. May I have your first name.” (Notice I didn’t use a question mark because it wasn’t really a question the way she said it.) I was so taken aback that it actually took me a moment to respond. Now, I am going to have to call back soon to try again to set up an appointment because the day I wanted didn’t work out. I’ve decided that when she answers the phone like that I am going to say that, “My first name is Mrs.”

Whenever I encounter situations like this, I come home or get off the phone and complain and fume about it. My man tells me that I am going to make a great crotchety old lady some day, and actually thinks I’m already there other than the old part.

So, why is this? Why have we become so familiar with one another that we feel it is okay for a sales person, or clerk in a store whom we have never met before to call us by our first name? Why do they think it is okay to call me by my first name?

I’ve worked in retail and client/customer service long enough that I understand wanting to make a more personal touch with the customer. But only the clients that I talked to on a very regular basis and became friendly with did I ever call by their first names. And even in my current job, the financial advisors I work for will call clients by their first names, but I do not as I don’t have the same kind of familiar relationship with them. At least the checkers at my local grocery store have the decency to look at the receipt and call me by my last name when trying to address me by name.

And why are we as adult men and women so offended by someone calling us Mr. or Mrs. Whatever? In most situations, I think it is a sign of respect for the unfamiliarity of the relationship. Not a sign of how old you are.

Now, I will grant you that sometimes it is a sign of age as there are some people in my church, with whom it does not matter one iota how familiar our relationship is, I will only EVER call them by Mr. or Mrs. Whatever out of respect of their age and simply because of the respect I have for them as people.

Certainly I resented at the time having to “ma’am” and “sir” my parents. I thought it was awful that I was supposed to address them that way. But, it taught me a certain amount of respect is due the person to whom you are speaking. It is a lesson that I carry with me to this day. And you’d better believe my children are expected to address us with a ma’am or sir when the situation calls for it.

Are you okay with being addressed by your first name by people whom you have never met before like store personnel? Tell me, because I really am feeling like I’m the only one who notices this.

Is it just me?