A Wild God Chase

Yes, it took me a solid week to get to where I could write a cohesive post (and by cohesive I mean scattered all over the place) about my trip to Memphis a few weekends ago. 

And then, with my little blog-cation last week, you’re just now finally getting said cohesive post.

I had a wonderful time with my Texas Amigas and travelling partners Melinda and Tiffany.  This is us waiting in line before the mad rush to find a seat on Friday evening.

I got to meet several people for the first time and just really enjoyed my time to get to hear some of their stories and allow my heart to break for them and rejoice with them.

Oh, and be a little silly with them, too. Because what is a weekend among gal pals without some serious silliness.

The internet has done an awesome thing by bringing groups of ladies together through the common bond of Christ. My prayer for this group is that we take seriously our calling to reflect Christ by our love toward one another through the internet and in person.

I am not going to post tons of pictures of all the neat bloggy friends I got to meet in person because Sophie did such a great job of that in her “Big Bloggy Fun” post on the All Access blog. I am not going to go through the specific points of Beth’s message because Melinda did such a great summary in this post her her blog. And I’m not going to speak specifically about the amazing tangent that Beth took us on as God revealed himself through Revelation chapters 4-5 because Melanie did an excellent post about that (also over at All Access).

However, I would like to share with you the specific message that God gave to me from the weekend as a whole. Rather than the specific points of Mrs. Beth’s message (while they did speak to me as you will see with some quotes I have sprinkled throughout this post) I think the overall theme of the message is what spoke to me the most. Just the idea of being on a “Wild God Chase.”

This title is, of course, a play on words with the well known phrase, “wild goose chase” which refers to pursuing something in folly or vanity. Beth even told us about how she asked for a personal example of going on a wild goose chase and the Lord gave her one just in her attempts to get to Memphis on that Friday. Flight delays, cancellations, no more flights that day all leading to finding a chartered plane, waiting for it, more delays because of the weather… and on and on. I’m sure it did feel like a wild goose chase.

Well, I am realizing this week, after being home and having some time to reflect that I, too, have been on a wild goose chase. Only my chase was not after an airplane, mine has been with respect to some of my relationships. I realized that I have been chasing relationships with some people that I thought were important to have relationships with.

I was wrong.

And being confronted with that square in the face has not been pleasant. I have talked before, even just right before this trip, about my concern over female relationships. And I had my eyes opened to a lot during this weekend and here in this week that has followed.

The people I was seeking friendship with are Christians, so it’s not like I was looking for relationships in ungodly places. However, in this particular circumstance, I experienced a certain amount of rejection in these friendships. And it hurt.

“It’s not just about the weapon or the intention.  It is about how deeply we took it.  We take our wounding deeply, but keep our healing at surface level.” ~Beth Moore 

The Lord really spoke to me on Saturday morning as Beth spoke of how “God teems with compassion” about healing in my circumstance. For the first time, I really took hold of Christ’s comments on the cross, “Forgive them for they do not know what they do.” I related that to myself and began praying that over my situation of hurt. I think the Lord revealed to me that on many levels, these people that had in a sense rejected me did not know what they were doing.

“We can forgive others only as much as our consciousness of God’s forgiveness of us.”  ~Beth Moore

I have also thought a lot about the Lord’s compassion and healing and I originally thought that He was speaking to me about it in solely reference to myself. Some of it definitely was. However, as I have continued on this week, I’m not entirely sure that I am not supposed to be praying for healing and repentance in other people as well so that they can have healthy friendships, too.

“If our area of pain is not dealt with, it becomes an idol and we are controlled by it and bow down to it.” ~ Beth Moore

We were exhorted that we ought to be altered at every self revelation that God gives us. The Apostle John was altered by every revelation that God gave him and that led to him being entrusted with the “The Revelation” found at the end of our Bible.

I believe that God revealed Himself to me in such a real way last weekend. So here I am, saying that I have come away from this Living Proof Live experience altered, changed, never to be the same. And I pray that God will alter my views of friendship.

“God is SO life that He cannot leave anything dead.” ~Beth Moore

This is also making me think of the “Chase What Matters” ad campaigns that I’ve written about before. (I find it interesting that the scripture in the post I just linked to is from Exodus 33, the passage just preceding our core passage from Memphis which was Exodus 34:6-7.)  I am reminded that I need to really be careful to chase what matters and to continually ask God to show me his glory. I think that in this situation I was not really chasing what matters which is fully chasing God, at least in reference to some relationships. 

I feel like recently, I have gone back to high school and that I am trying to sit with the cool kids at the lunch table. I had my eyes opened this week to the fact that I have been seeking relationships that are about being with the in-crowd, even at 36 years of age and in some Christian circles. I don’t want that any more.

“He will allow loneliness and a ‘season of lack’ so that you will know that there is only one who is truly worthy.” ~ Beth Moore

I want to be able to say that I am not chasing relationships with people and that the relationships I do have are nothing other than intentionally Christ centered.  Not about position or prestige or who you know.  About Christ.

Melinda told Tiffany and I in the car on the way back to DFW that she went through a time of telling God, “You are picking my friends.” I think I’m there.

I am chasing God.

I want him to bring me and put into my path the friends He wants me to have. The friends that will not have unrealistic expectations of what I am able to give to the relationship. The friends that will, in turn, will be inclusive and will be healthy for me.

I have tried to take too much control over who my friends are and it occurs to me that being on a Wild God Chase means that He is the prize and any friends He brings me along the way are just “gravy.” As I chase after Him, He will show me the friends that He has for me.

And I know that He will put me in situations that I would never have dreamed of to meet people that I would never have imagined being friends with.

I would never have dreamed that I would come to know some of the women that I did this weekend.  Nor that I would have heard some of the stories that made my heart break for them and rejoice with them as well in the victory that they have encountered and look forward to the victory that they will achieve as they follow Christ.

As I think through this and write about it, I find myself again in a crisis of trust. This is all about trusting God with my friendships.  Trusting that he will bring to me the friendships that I need that will be healthy spiritually, emotionally and physically.

I claim that I am not rejected. I claim that Christ has accepted me and therefore I am acceptable to the Father. I will no longer chase with this blog or in friendships the stuff that doesn’t matter. I will not chase notoriety. I will not chase fame. I will not chase connections or position or any of those things.

I am chasing God.

Period.

End of story.

I am on a Wild God Chase.

As I conclude, I will leave you with my transcription of our commissioning at the end of the morning on Saturday.  I shared this moment with my friend Brandi as we spoke these words over one another. 

My dear sister,

God put you on this planet to go on a Wild God Chase.

In every circumstance, every challenge, every high and every low, God wants to disclose Himself to you.

You never have to wonder if your God is really good.

He abounds with love for you.

He teems with compassion for you.

Let his care for you go deeper than your distress.

As you leave this place, remember that for those with eyes to see every common bush is on fire for God.

Stop doubting and believe.

Now get out there and go live this life.

Because, girlfriend, your God is WORTHY!