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Tuesday, March 23, 2010

The Journey {part 1}

So many things have been going on for me over the last few months that I haven’t really felt at liberty to talk about here.  It has been a journey that has finally come to a point where I can begin to unpack some of it.  I would like to invite you to come along with me as I wander back over the last year through a series of 6 blog posts and discover all that God has done in my life personally and our lives as a couple and as a family.

It really all started back in April when Mike lost his corporate job.  I was shaken to the core. 

It was one of those things that we really didn’t feel comfortable talking about a lot publically.  We told people if it came up, but it was not a widely known thing.  I’m not really sure why we handled it this way, but both of us felt the same way about it. 

It felt private. 

It felt strange to talk about it openly. 

We also didn’t want people asking a lot of probing questions in front of the kids.  And since they are with us most of the time we are at church, it just kind of naturally happened that we didn’t talk about it much in our church setting. 

We had a core group of friends that we shared the news with and, of course, with our families.  But very few of them could really relate in any way.  I have struggled a bit with how that core group of friends reacted and with some of the insensitive things that were said in my presence.  I’m still working on forgiveness and trust here nearly a year later.

Mike and I really began to depend on each other and on God.  But even he didn’t fully understand how the layoff had affected me.  It had rocked much of the security that I felt in life on this earth.  But there was nobody who really got it.

Pretty much, from my perspective, this was another one of those times when I felt I was on my own with God.  I’ve been here before, and I knew that the Lord could heal my heart and make me feel secure again.

… continued in parts 2-6 …

3 Comments:

Gayle @ thewestiecrew said...

I just have to tell you; this is one of my biggest fears (Mark losing his job). I've watched so many friends struggle through it and it terrifies me. I'm so freaked out by it that I almost don't want to verbalize it... how nuts is THAT?
I'm so glad you are sharing this with us, friend. I know God has worked in you throughout this!

Donna @ Way More Homemade said...

Gayle - It was not something that I really feared and I felt like it came out of nowhere.

Also, I think you will be surprised at where this series goes.

Beth (A Mom's Life) said...

Looking forward to seeing where God took you with this! Because I know what he plans for us is WAAAAY better than anything we could plan for ourselves.