As I have moved into Post-VBS life over the weekend and this week, I have been doing my typical assessing, reassessing and mulling over of how things went. Of course things generally went well. There were no major catastrophes and the wheels did not completely come off at any given point.
But, you know, I have a few "type-A" tendencies. So when people weren't entering the worship center in the correct form or order on Monday morning, it felt like the wheels were coming off to me. I felt a little like Martin Short's character in the newer version of Father of the Bride when he was walking through the house during the reception trying to get people to move. In general it was a little like herding cats.
However, in my assessing and mulling, I came across several things that kept sticking in my mind. So, naturally, I had to tell someone. Because you know I just can't keep my mouth shut when I have an opinion. Everybody's got to know.
So I emailed our Children's Pastor, but with the following disclaimer:Have I mentioned before that I have serious pride issues? If not, let me tell you, “I have serious pride issues.”
See, I have come to realize that some of the things that got to me in the VBS process this year probably stem from my pride. They stem from my own desire to feel like I've accomplished something. To be seen as someone who's done a job and done it well. You know, pride.
It caused me to to feel my toes getting stepped on. It caused me to resent it that not everybody loves VBS as much as I do. It causes me to be concerned about things that, in the larger picture, are not important at all.
But I went ahead and, very tactfully I might add, listed several things that may need to be addressed for coming years. From the internal VBS leadership structure to pastoral staff involvement (or lack thereof). And you know what? She agreed and said that all of the things I mentioned were already on her list of things to think about and address.
So, is it possible that God spoke to me in spite of my pride? I think so. And I think all the things I mentioned to her were valid points and issues that do need to be addressed. But I also think that, at times, my heart wasn't in the right place about why I saw them as a problem.
I have pride issues. And God is working on me about them.
still kickin'
2 years ago
2 Comments:
I think it shows humility that you were even willing to blog this:) And you get respect from me for even working at VBS, not to mention directing it!
Thanks for the note on my blog today. It *is* hard. I was thinking while making dinner... way more homemade, I made add (sorry, couldn't resist! LOL)... that it was easier going to my own son's memorial that these others.This will be my second after Bub. I don't know if its because I knew what was coming at ours, having planned it etc. And I had lived it too, instead of reading about it and watching from a distance. I had roots in our own. But its just hard. Thanks for praying for me. (I'll be packing the Kleenex, lemme tell ya!)
I'm so sorry you had to go through that as well. And in 2001.. with 9-11 and everything else. It was a hard time. We found out our son was terminal within a week or two of 9-11. Very surreal. Here I am at clinic and the world has ended and yet we're all still here doing the same stuff with the same ppl. What a year!
Your post today was very brave and transparent. I agree with Tiffany!
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