The Potty Training Chronicles: Stubborn Trumps Logic

Surprise.

I’ll bet you thought you weren’t going to see any more of these posts.

But my son is stubborn. And here we are again.

We went on vacation in July and it was so good. The boy had no accidents in the course of the entire 12+ hour car ride and days spent on the beach. He told us every time in the car when he needed to go to the bathroom.

Of course, we’re convinced that a few of those were just so he could tee-tee in the grass. It’s an exciting thing, apparently.

He even told us when he needed to poop. One of those times being when we were headed back to the car from a public beach that we went to because our beach at our condo was too over-run with seaweed. We were lucky that there was a port-o-potty right there.



An important first in life is your first port-o-potty experience.

It changes you forever.

But then we got home and it’s been chaos ever since. Especially after spending 4 days at Nanny’s house having “Nanny Camp” while big sister was at camp. I’ll swear that he lost his ever-lovin’ mind.

It got really bad at the end of last week. We were beside ourselves after 2 accidents at day-care and then one at home also. All in one day. And it’s the #2 side of things that’s the problem… #1 has never really been the issue.

So here’s where we are: He can do it. He has proven it. Logically, I should be dancing in the streets and shouting, “WE’RE DONE!!” But he, for some reason, is being stubborn and choosing not to.

Here’s where it gets funny, weird, and quite frustrating.

We are trying to help him by telling him when we think he needs to go. Maybe this is our problem, but when left entirely up to him at this point, we have days like we had last week and it’s not pleasant.

So last night, Mike tells him to go sit on the potty and try to poop before getting in the shower. Nathan doesn’t want to and says so. It goes on and really turns into an obedience issue of dad told him to do something and he’s balking at it.

In fact, he is apparently over at the potty puts just one cheek up on the toilet and then looks at Mike as if to say, “OK?” Mike gets on to him again and so this time he barely has both cheeks up on the edge of the seat, but not enough so that he can be productive in any way. He looks at Mike this time as if to say, “THERE, I’m ON the potty.”

Daddy’s hand, please meet Nathan’s bottom.


We laughed about it later. He's just such a little toot sometimes.

The thing is that once we get him sitting down and give him some privacy, he usually goes. He’s excited, we’re excited, he gets praise and candy and stickers.

But it seems, at this point, that no amount of prizes or sticker charts for success or toys taken away for messes is going to make a difference.

He knows what to do and how to do it. Logically it’s a no-brainer. But stubborn trumps logic.

Every time.

The Potty Training Chronicles - Our Past in Diapers

Ok - I'm feeling the need to explain my previous post for those of you who may not know this about me...

I used cloth diapers on both my kids.

There... I admitted it. I feel so much better. Like such a weight has been lifted.

Oh, I kid.

But none-the-less, I did use cloth.

And, now that my Little Man is potty trained (well, for the most part - seriously, who am I kidding here?) I have no more need for the huge stash of diapers that I have.

So, what is one to do with said diapers?

Sell them.

Oh, don't get grossed out. It's absolutely acceptable and normal. They get washed in super hot water that kills anything. And, I guess if you're grossed out by it, then you wouldn't be using cloth anyways.

I have, in the past, been a part of a diapering bulletin board on Babycenter.com. It's a great forum to get questions answered and share ideas about cloth diapering. The board also hosts a swap every Thursday for the buying/selling/trading of diapers and diaper related items.

All that to say, for a few weeks (or until I finally get rid of my stash), you may see a post here for people to come and look at pictures of my diapers.

It's a little sad that these diapers are a part of our past... they're just so darn cute!

The Potty Training Chronicles (Part 8) - Prizes

I am shocked. . . AMAZED, even.

The boy may just have gotten the hang of the whole thing.

I mentioned recently that we had been using some negative concequences. We tried several things, but what finally worked has been taking toys away for accidents; specifically #2 (which in our opinion haven't been accidents as much as a sheer act of him exerting his will). Especially prized toys like Max & Monty, race cars, trucks, tractors, really anything with wheels. Then, he could earn them back by going in the potty.

We recently added a chart to give some more tangible positive rewards. He gets a sticker for each day he was clean and dry. He also has the option of earning another sticker each day if he poops in the potty. Filling up a row (10 very hand-drawn "squares") earns a prize.

The first prize was a Lightning McQueen & Mater Puzzle. It took probably 15 to 20 days to earn it. But he did it and he was excited.

The second prize was a car wash hot wheels toy which he earned this evening. As you can tell from the dates of the above pictures, this only took 11 days. And he has already earned 1 sticker towards his 3rd (and hopefully final) prize... a bulldozer train (as he calls it).

I guess I'd better go ahead an order it, huh?

Funny, though. It's all about the prizes isn't it?

And using prizes is not a new thing in parenting.

My parents like to put up a big front and say that, "You did it beacuse you were told to and because we expected you to obey." Well, yeah, but I know there were some prizes involved for me as a kid.

Hello, my name is Donna and I was a thumb sucker.

Apparently nothing worked to get me to stop until my daddy took me to the store and showed me a new tricycle that he would buy me if I quit the thumb. And apparently, I did just that.

Cold Turkey.

And I got me a tricycle.

So, prizes aside, here's the great and really encouraging part. Saturday at the family reunion all day, he did so great. He told us every time he had to tee-tee. He told us at the DQ (oh there's a separate post) that he needed to go potty and he went in there and pooped. The last couple of nights he has come and told us he needed to poop and has gone in the potty.

It's been 4 months today since my first Potty Training Chronicles post.

4 LONG MONTHS!

Could it be?

Is it possible that the boy finally has the hang of it?

Could this be one of my last Potty Training Chronicles posts?

I'm not sure, but I'm ordering a few prizes online right now...

The Potty Training Chronicles (Part 7) - It's Good to be a Guy

We have come across yet another milestone in the potty training process. Well, here, I'll let him tell you about it himself.

We were down at the playground in our neighborhood on Friday afternoon and he needed to go. So... I took him beside the tennis courts and he went. Then, obviously he proceeded to announce it to the entire neighborhood from the top of the playset.

This is another one of those joys that you moms of only girls will never truly encounter to it's fullest. It's good to be a guy... sometimes.

The Potty Training Chronicles (Part 6)

It's been a long time since our last installment of The Potty Training Chronicles. And today seemed like the perfect day to document our progress.

Most of it is going well. We think we've even made a little head-way in the #2 arena. We began recently having some negative consequences as well as positive rewards where this is concerned. We had several days in a row recently that he kept his underpants clean and went in the potty. He even prompted it himself at least once. And then you have days like today.

It is currently 2:40 pm and he has been asleep for I don't have any idea how long, standing up, with poop in his under pants.

Much to my surprise, we decided to leave him and let him sleep. Any thing we would try to do at this point would wake him up and we've got the law of gravity working for us in reference to his skin and the poop.

So now it just remains to be seen if he will wake up because he falls down, or if he will fall down because he wakes up.

Potty Training Chronicles (Part 5) - Standing Up

Wednesday morning, Nathan finally woke up and came out of his room. I was on the phone with Mike at the moment, so I sent him on back to the bathroom. He comes back out with all of his undies and pants down around his ankles, as is his usual style. So, as I’m still on the phone with Mike (and thankfully not someone else less close to the situation) I call him over to help him get everything pulled back up. Here’s how it went…

Mom: Son, you need to pull your pants up BEFORE leaving the bathroom. Come here.

Son: I’m wet.

Mom: (Confused) Did you go tee-tee?

Son: Yes!! I went tee-tee!!

Mom: (Noticing wetness on son’s bare legs and on pajamas) Did you stand up to tee-tee?

Son: (Really excited) YES!

Mom: *sigh*

Dad: (Only somewhat stifling uncontrollable laughter) Um, I’d better let you go take care of that. Uh, good luck.

Mom: Gee, thanks.

So, the scene in the bathroom once we got there. Imagine pee everywhere… and I mean EVERYWHERE. This was the first time he had ever done this so: the seat was down with pee all over it, there was pee dripping down the side of the toilet, there was pee on the floor… the wall, I forgot to check the wall…

This is a joy that all you mom’s of girls just simply cannot comprehend. Learning how to pee standing up.

It gets better… but Mike is going to have to tell the next story from Wednesday evening.

****

Right before dinner Wednesday evening I took Nathan to go potty and wash his hands. He was very excited to show me how he could stand up to pee. We got to the bathroom and he proceeded to get his stepstool set up in front of the toilet. The placement had to be perfect, I guess, because many adjustments were necessary before he was happy with it. Finally, he stood up on the stool and proceeded to raise the seat. Now, I was too busy thinking about what a smart move that is (he does share the bathroom with his sister, after all) to consider how far back he was standing. Once he got the seat up, though, it became apparent that he was having trouble standing back up straight. I was debating with myself whether I should help him or let him figure it out on his own when he decided to just go for it. His initial momentum carried him about halfway up, but he just didn’t have the leverage to complete the move.

Back down he went – splash! Arms first into the toilet. He wasn’t really sure what to do at this point, and my laughter probably didn’t help. I reached over and helped him stand up while keeping his dripping arms over the toilet. After drying him off with a washcloth, I moved his stool closer and showed him how to lift the seat from the side before getting on the stool. Now it was time to try again. He stood there for a while with nothing happening.

Dad: Do you need to go tee-tee?

Son: No.

Dad: Ok, then let’s wash hands and go eat dinner.

Son: NOOOOOO! I wanna go tee-tee!

Dad: Ok, Ok.

So we waited… in silence...




Dad: Look, if there is no tee-tee, then let’s just go.

Now, this whole time he has been shaking and wiggling trying to go. Finally, as he is staring at it, and it is pointed back up at him, the tee-tee comes. Straight up. Toward his face. Luckily, his shirt stops it and he gets it pointed back at the toilet. Not in the toilet, but AT the toilet. The tank, the seat, the lid – basically every part of the toilet except the bowl with the water in it.

Dad: (reaching over to help) Point it in the bowl, son. No, no – that’s too far – that’s your leg. That’s good, in the bowl. Oh, you’re done. Well, you got some in there – we’ll call it a draw.

Clean up took a few minutes. I suggested changing clothes (at least the shirt) but he was having none of it. I finally decided that it wasn’t that bad and bath time was just around the corner anyway, so off to dinner we went – proudly telling mom how he had gone tee-tee standing up.

The Potty Training Chronicles (Part 4)

A couple of weeks ago he had been doing so well that he got to go pick out a new train (Thomas the Tank Engine). Well, Mike took him and said that as soon as he saw Max and Monty (2 dump trucks) there was no train to be had.

Well, he’s still doing okay with the #1 side of things, but we’re a little hung up on #2. The frustrating thing for Mike and I is that he can do it. He has done it. Several times. But he won’t always.

On the one hand, it seems like it’s a timing thing. He starts, then stops himself and comes and tells us. So then, we go to the bathroom and get on the potty and he can’t get started again. We will go through this routine over and over again and sometimes it ends in him going on the potty, and sometimes it ends with an accident in his pants.

On the other hand, it seems to purely be a matter of choosing to not go to the bathroom to do it.
Then throw in being in a classroom atmosphere and not having the personal 1 on 1 attention, and that’s a recipe for accidents.

I keep telling myself that he won’t still be doing this when he graduates from high school (I hope) so just roll with it. But it doesn’t work so well. We’re trying to have some negative consequences when he goes in his pants, so we’ll see how that goes.

The Potty Training Chronicles (Part 3)

Things have vastly improved since I last posted about our adventures in potty training. The last time I posted, we’d had a break-through of sorts. The next day, he was not asking for chocolates or treats any more. And now, we have crossed another hurdle in the process.

Nathan started back to day-care fully on Monday and actually began telling his teacher when he needed to go. In fact today at Recollections (while enjoying the misfortune of their closing sale), he told me he needed to go tee-tee. You know what that’s called? Self prompting, my friend. That’s been the next big jump that we’ve been waiting for.

Up next… poop! Oh but maybe that was TMI – Did I just say that out loud?

Adventures in Parenting – Part Deux (Precious Parenting Moments)

Potty school (as we’re calling it) went much better today. Only 1 accident and several successful trips to the potty. Although, he’s learned to ask for chocolate after he goes. We need to work on weaning off the treats. I guess we’ll find out tomorrow if this is a trend that will continue. But all in all, Mike and I are very much encouraged.

Our first successful potty trip this morning was really cute. He sat down, and went immediately and was so proud. He runs into our room (after the chocolate, of course) to find daddy and tell him. Each time, he came out to tell everyone that he went tee-tee on the potty. To see him be so proud in his accomplishment after being so discouraged the day before was a precious parenting moment.

Sarah had a good day today also. She played Amazing Grace for the offertory in church. Our church, if you weren’t aware, has 2 services and probably had 400 people in each service today (which is low with the holidays). Needless to say, it was a pretty big deal for a 6 year old. And she did great. She bobbled a few times, but moved on and it didn’t phase her.

It was so sweet when she finished, our pastor came and took her by the hand and took her to the center of the platform (mostly since she’s so little, nobody could see anything of her but her feet dangling down from the piano bench) and had her give him a high five while the congregation in both services stood clapping. I was in tears the first service. To witness my child using her God given talents to praise Him and bless others in the process... it was truly a precious parenting moment.

Adventures in Parenting (aka Dear God, help us, we’re potty training!)

So yesterday was the day. We took away the diapers and went to training pants. Right now, I wish we were still in diapers.

I have been thinking that he’s been ready for weeks now. In fact, it was about the time that I was starting work at the beginning of October that He really began to indicate that he was ready. He was telling us when he was “stinky” and he would tee-tee on the little potty sometimes – not every time he sat on it, but I would have him sit on it when I thought he would go, and usually he did. I also thought that I would remember enough little things from the book I read with Sarah and what I did with her that I would know what I was doing. I see now that I may be wrong on both accounts.

NCAA Football aside… Gig ‘em! Ags 14, Penn St 0… okay – just kidding Ags 14, Penn St 7. And did you see that about Florida State? 36 players suspended from their bowl game! Holy Moly!

We had very little success yesterday. And most of the little successes that we had felt like they were coincidental. We talked about it and he seemed to understand the idea of going in the potty and keeping his “big boy underpants” dry. But there was a connection between his bladder and his brain that wasn’t, well, connecting.

Today, I was so beat after an entire morning of taking him to sit on the potty every 5-15 minutes only to end in accidents, that I just had to step away from it all this afternoon. And as of dinner time, we (parents) were o-fer. 2 year old 10 – parents 0. We were feeling very defeated. However, he had a big success after dinner so we weren’t shut out completely. It gave us a glimmer of hope.

So, now, after two days, I’m waffling on whether or not I think he’s ready for all this. One part of me says, “If he’s old enough to come out of the play room and tell you his underpants are wet, then he’s old enough to go in the potty.” Another part says, “If he won’t go when I take him and yet has an accident 2 minutes later, then maybe he’s not ready.” Then, the other part says, “Is there some bit of training or teaching that he needs that I haven’t given him to enable him to achieve success?”

Dear God, help us, we’re potty training!