NOG - Week 3

Talk about in your face, life changing revelation. The last couple of weeks have seen just that for me in this study.

I have come to realize that I have serious trust issues. Yes, I have problems trusting people. I put up defenses and play the, “I won’t get hurt this way,” game. But it also translates into not truly trusting God.

After I came to this realization, and through the help of some outside reading I was doing (Don’t fall off your chair, I was doing outside reading. I’ll post about that later), I came to see that I have been living with independence as an idol. Absolutely addicted to it. Wrapped up in and attached by fear to independence.

I had been plagued for several days by the fact that I was searching and felt like I kept dancing around what the core issue was. I’d come up with this or that but nothing that seemed to really be what I thought was the core problem. (Which is partly why I didn't post anything about week 2. I never felt finished with it.) Then, when it hit me, after I really realized it, it was like a ton of bricks was lifted off my shoulders.

I don’t know yet how I am going to deal with this idol. But I do know that I’ll be depending on Jesus to help me tear it down.