Search This Blog

Wednesday, November 4, 2009


We came home from BSF today and Nathan immediately asked to watch a movie.  (You must understand that in our house, for some reason, any show on television is called a movie by both of our children.  I have no idea why.)  I told him that I was not turning anything on and that we were about to eat lunch. 

He happily went about his business and played with his remote controlled motorcycles while I got lunch ready and then we ate. 

After we had finished, he went back to his motorcycles and then, the next thing I know, he has cleaned up and put them all away.  Then he said the most curious thing.

“Mom, I’ll be your best friend if you turn on a movie for me.”

As with so many things that this boy says, I had to stifle my laughter.  But that was only for a moment until I realized the larger picture that was at stake here.

Certainly, Nathan does not have the full understanding of the weight of what he said, but I cannot as a responsible parent, let this teaching opportunity pass by.  I just can’t.  So we talked about it.

Think about that statement though.  Let the weight of it rest upon you for a moment.

How often do we do that; both as kids and as adults?  We set conditions on our friendship.  We are in essence saying, “I’ll be your friend as long as you do something for me.  As long as you meet some need that I have.”

Or the opposite might me true.  Maybe we say, “I will do this for you if you’ll just please be my friend.”

I know I have been on both sides of that conversation.  I’ve been the one to only offer friendship if the person has done something for me.  And I’ve been the one, even recently, who has done things for people, time consuming things, just to prove myself worthy of their friendship.

And it dawned on me, all in these few brief moments that I had to whittle the whole concept down so that I could talk to my 4 year old about it, that it’s not about what we do for one another.  As I explained to him, we’re friends just because we are, regardless of what one person does for another. 

And then, I turned on a show, just because I love him and because he asked me.  Not because I need or want him to be my best friend.  But because I wanted to bless him.

That, my friends, is what friendship is about.

Go out and bless a friend today.  Just because.


beckyjomama said...

What a great mama you are! You even taught ME a lesson!!!

elizabeth said...

This was a beautiful post.

Amanda said...

Thanks for the fresh perspective. We all need to be reminded once in a while to treasure our friends...just because.