God's ABCs

While our own kids were out of town at a family reunion with my parents this weekend, Mike and I were called upon to teach in the preschool area at church on Sunday morning. And when I say that, I mean we were called on Sunday morning.

I originally thought we would be with the 4 year old Pre-K kids which are my son's age. But when we got there, it turned into the director saying, "Well, I've placed you in the 2's class. Most of them have already turned 3."

I don't do well with little preparation and I do even worse when what I have mentally prepared myself for changes.

What makes this whole thing even funnier to me is that when I asked the director what the lesson was for the day, she brought me a single sheet that had the text of a Bible story from Genesis and a single picture to color on the back. This is what I had to go on. Then, not until I was sitting down to try to give the children a Bible story did I find that the sheet I was originally given was completely different from the sheets we were given for the children.

I was just about fit to be tied.

But we pressed on. I was going to teach on the story in Matthew 8 where Jesus was asleep on the boat in the midst of a storm and the disciples woke him and he calmed the storm.

We had somewhat corralled the children to one side of the room and kind of had a circle time going. Several of the children sat right down to listen, but a few continued to wander the room playing with toys like they had no idea what "circle time" was. We tried to reign them back in a little bit, but eventually just moved on and prayed that they would hear the story while they played.

Then the sweetest thing happened.

I have learned a few things from all the volunteering I have done in the preschool program at BSF so I implemented some of those things here. I pulled out my Bible and before we talked about the Bible story, I began talking to the children about the Bible itself.

I asked, "Do you know what book this is?"

One child may have said, "The Bible."

"Yes, it's the Bible. Do you want to see? Do you want to touch it?" I opened it up and had my finger on our story in Matthew and encouraged them to put their fingers on it. And then I asked, "Do you know what the Bible is?"

Then one precious little girl piped up with, "Hey, there are ABCs in there."

"Yes, there are. Do you know who's ABCs these are?"

"They're God's ABCs!" she replied quite excitedly.

"Yes, that's absolutely right. These are God's ABCs. His true and holy Word."

No pastor could preach that sermon any better than a 3 year old saying, "They're God's ABCs."

Amen.

Jesus is in the hard places

I have to believe it.  I just have to believe that He is in my hard place right now.

Part of what discussed today at BSF was the story from John 4:43-54 of Jesus healing the son of a nobleman.  During this portion of the lecture, our teaching leader discussed the likelihood that the nobleman was initially resistant to believing that Jesus was not limited by time, space or death.  I think back now and wonder how hard it must have been to believe Jesus and obey when he said, “Go, your son will live” (vs. 50). 

At one point, she loosely quoted Tom Landry:

“Leadership is getting someone to do what they don’t want to do, to achieve what they want to achieve.”

While our lecture was not on leadership, the point that I took away from it was this:  Sometimes, God is going to make me do some things that  don’t want to do to achieve the results that He wants. 

That nobleman had to believe and act on that belief  by leaving and going home in order for Jesus to release his healing power. 

But between that time of belief/action and the time that he got word that his son was alive and well, the nobleman was on the road between Cana and Capernaum.  Can you imagine how hard that road home must have been?  Knowing that you had entrusted your son’s very life to someone and that you were then leaving behind.  How alone must this father have felt?

But you know what?  Jesus was there.  He hadn’t been left behind.  Not in the least. He was working in the situation as that man took his (literal) steps of faith and headed home.

The man had to do what he didn’t want to do in order for Jesus to achieve the result that He wanted… the man’s faith.

So the final quote this morning was that “Jesus is in the hard places [of life].”

I won’t kid you a bit.  I am in a hard place.  A hard place full of details that need not be discussed here, but hard nonetheless.  I have spent the better part of this week very discouraged and feeling defeated and alone.  I have been asking Jesus to shine his Light on my situation that looks so very dark.  And now, with this bit of truth, I feel like that prayer is being answered. 

Jesus is in the hard places. 

I quoted this on twitter today and someone sent me this message back: “The hard place is also known as the "cleft of the rock."  He is nearer than you know.” 

And, yet again, I am taken back to Exodus 33:18 where Moses says to the Lord, “Show me your glory.”  God replies and in verse 22 says, “When my glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by.” 

Jesus is in the hard places.

I ask Him to show His glory.

As I am here, in this hard place.

Coincidence? Um, no.

Many times God speaks to us in themes.  Have you noticed that?  It’s like He gets on one particular topic and it is everywhere I go for a period of time. 

So is it any coincidence that the one teaching segment that I was able to attend this weekend during Beth Moore’s Life Today taping of Wednesdays with Beth was about chasing God? 

I think not.

This time, our focal passage was out of Philippians 4:1-14 and focusing on verses 12-14.  And if you know me, you might know that Philippians 4:10-11 changed my life and helped pull me out of a pit of self-pity a couple of years ago.

So there has got to be something to the fact that I have been taken back to lessons from my past recently and been introduced to a new concept repeatedly all at the same time. 

Let’s recap for just a moment…

->In Memphis the concept of being on a “Wild God Chase” was introduced in light of God’s first real revelation of himself to Moses in Exodus 34.  Is there any doubt that Moses was completely changed from that point on?

->The current BSF lesson I was studying at the time and the one we went over that following Wednesday was on the miracle of Jesus turning water into wine at the wedding in Cana.  This was also Jesus first real revelation of Himself to his disciples.  They believed (were changed).

->My self discovery and writing about the lesson in Memphis led me back to this blog post where I wrote about asking God to show me his glory and chasing what matters.  Oh how quickly I forget the lessons I’ve learned when I am not truly altered and changed by the truths that are revealed to me.

->And now, at the Life Today taping on Saturday afternoon, all of this comes together as I was reminded of my past declarations to make knowing Jesus more intimately and fully each and every day and that is brought together with the idea of being on a chase after him. 

So I could make this summary statement out of what has been put before me in the last couple of weeks…

I am to chase after God and Jesus and ask Him to show me His glory by seeking to know him more intimately each day and being altered by each revelation that He gives me. 

I’m ready Lord. 

I’m ready.

Or am I?

Survivor: The Week Without Dad - Day 5

This is part 4 of a series of posts chronicling our week while my man and my kids' dad was out of the country last week. See Day 1, Day 2, Day 3 & Day 4.

Day 5 – Wednesday

As I’m sitting here writing, it is so quiet in the house and I realize how much I miss Mike. The kids are in bed and the only sounds are of crickets quietly chirping amidst the breeze that’s rustling the leaves on the trees outside, a snoring dachshund and the clicks of my keyboard as I gently tap out a record of today’s events. I glance over and my kitchen is an absolute mess because someone hasn’t been here to clean up after me. I look around and there is only one computer, the other laptop that is usually sitting here at the table is missing. I feel alone in spite of the sleeping children who are just yards away in their room tucked into bed.

BSF started today. I really felt like if there was a day that Satan was going to attack and make a bad morning for us that today would be the day. So from the time Mike left, I began asking friends to pray for us this morning. And you know what, we had our smoothest morning yet.

I was going to let Nathan sleep in a little, but I didn’t even have to go and drag him out of bed as I have the last two days for school. By 7:15 he was up and smiling his sweet smile. Then once we got to BSF, we walked up to his classroom and he just walked right in with no problem. I couldn’t have asked for a better morning with him.

I worked in the preschool area today, so we stayed after class for me to listen to lecture with our children’s leaders and Nathan had lunch with some new friends in the other room. The transition was smooth to the other room and everything just went great.

I called our auto insurance guy this morning and found out that we do have towing insurance. Mike worked it out with his dad and he took care of getting my car towed back here to the house. Knowing that I have a little boy who loves all things cars and trucks, I let Nathan stay up instead of taking a nap so that he could see the tow truck once it got to the house. It was likely the highlight of his week.

The rest of the day was fairly uneventful, but included a nap for Nathan after we picked Sarah up from school.

And all the mommies said…. AMEN!

We made sure and talked to Dad on Skype this evening because Sarah is supposed to have soccer tomorrow evening and Nathan has soccer on Friday evening. Of course all that is a little up in the air with all the rain we’ve had this week, but that’s the plan anyways.

And we all know how well my plans have gone this week.

Regardless, we’re not sure if we’ll really get to talk much for the rest of the week, so we needed to get that conversation in.

And hey, since it’s my day off from work, I actually cooked dinner. I made roast and experimented with some sweet potato fries. Roast was good. Sweet potato fries were so-so. Need to do some more experimenting. Maybe after Daddy’s home.

Obedience Brings Blessings

I posted back in December about a word I got through my BSF lesson about my needing to give my passion and love for cooking to the Lord for His glory. At the time I sensed him saying to wait and that He would give me the opportunities, but to just wait. I did, and He is beginning to deliver.

And I’m also seeing a lesson that I’ve been learning recently in action… blessing comes from obedience. It’s what I’ve been seeing throughout the book of Leviticus that we’ve recently been studying in BSF.

I learned several weeks ago that our church’s youth choir was hosting a concert where they would serve dessert and hold a silent auction to raise money for their summer mission trip to Nashville. Of course, I knew I would make dessert, because you know, dessert is my middle name.

Oh, you didn’t know that? Well, it is.

And then the thought hit me: I have been to numerous charity auctions where a local chef has donated a meal for a dinner party prepared in the bidder’s home. And when I served a dinner party to some friends last fall, some of them said that I should donate a dinner party to our school’s auction. Now, I am certainly no trained chef, and the majority of the people at the auction don’t know me; which is why I put any thought of such a possibility out of my head. But I love to cook, right? So I wondered how it would go over with a group of people I know well if I donated something similar.

So, I called the person in charge of the auction to see if they wanted it. She finally got back to me and said that sure, we’d give it a shot and see how it went over.

Long story short, it went over well. During the auction it brought a decent amount. And I fixed the dinner for this couple on Friday evening (February 13th). I tell you, it was one of the biggest blessings I have ever encountered.

I cooked most of the meal at home and transported it to the home of this sweet, slightly older couple. I found that they are a couple who have been accustomed to gourmet type meals and yet with illness and age are unable to get out and enjoy those things any longer.

After all four courses had been served and I was packing up my things to leave, the hug that this sweet lady gave me was one of the most heart-felt hugs I have ever received. And on top of that she handed me some extra money, which I of course gave toward the youth choir trip, the reason for the auction in the first place. As I told my daughter, this was a way that I could give to missions.

The meal blessed them, and I was blessed as well in return.

I believe that this was part of my finding ways to use my cooking for ministry. He told me to wait, I waited on the Lord, and He is revealing His plan a little at a time. I was obedient to what I believe was his prompting to do this one thing and I was blessed immensely. I am working to be open to his leading and I believe that God is continuing to give me direction about other cooking ministry opportunities that I am exploring.

Blessings come from obedience, y’all. I experienced this principle from Leviticus in a very real way the other night. I hope that I can continue to experience such a principle and put it into action with my own children as well.

Just as my Heavenly Father has done with me.

What are you chasing?

We are studying Moses this year in BSF and last week we were in Exodus 33-34.

Just to re-cap:
Israel in slavery and bondage – check
Moses born & hidden in basket, saved by Pharaoh’s daughter – check
Moses flees to Midian, has burning bush experience – check
Moses returns to Egypt at God’s command to free Israel – check
Plagues & exodus – check
God leads the people by pillar of cloud by day and pillar of fire by night – check
God provides manna for the people to eat – check
Moses ascends Mt. Sinai to receive the law – check
That whole golden calf episode – (unfortunately) check
Moses re-ascends Mt. Sinai after breaking tablets – check

WHEW! I think I got that all in order… at least mostly.

So here we are, back up on Mt. Sinai with Moses.

Don’t you wish you were actually there? I do. I’d love to see what it was like and experience what Moses did.

The thing is, I think what I’ve learned from this passage is that I can.

One thing that strikes me about what I read in this part of Exodus (even going back into chapter 32) is the intimacy. Oh, I long for the kind of intimacy that Moses had with God.

Just think, after all that had happened and how Moses had interceded for the people of Israel after their sin in making the golden calf, asking him to not destroy the people, he asked for even more.

In Exodus 33:13, Moses says to the Lord, “If you are pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and continue to find favor with you.”

Then, in verse 15 he tells God, “If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here.” In other words, I can’t settle for you just sending an angel with us, I want YOU!

THEN, he asks of the Lord, the ultimate request in verse 18. “Now show me your glory.”

Oh, WOW!

In lecture on Wednesday, our teaching leader said this phrase made her think of the quote from Jerry Maguire, “Show me the MONEY.” She made the point that most often, we want what the world can show us rather than what God can show us.

As she talked about this, I thought of an ad that has rubbed me wrong about this same exact point. Chase Bank’s ad campaign recently has had a tag line of, “Chase what matters.” I like the play on words and it’s a good advertisement. But according to them, those are all material things that can be purchased with your Chase credit card.



So that causes me to ask myself the question, “Am I truly chasing what matters?” Probably not. But I want to. Oh, yes I do.

This is going to be a year of chasing what matters. This is going to be a year of seeking to KNOW God with the intimacy and life changing power of knowing Him that Moses experienced. This is going to be a year of asking God to show me his GLORY, the manifestation of his attributes.

Lord, show me your GLORY!

I got a WORD last week

I love Twitter. Can I just say that? I L-O-V-E Twitter.

Not only have I met, but I’ve been able to get to know several Internet people. It’s amazing how much you can get to know about someone in 140 characters or less.

I have also been encouraged by and had the Lord speak to me through some of them.

For instance, I follow an author named Tricia Goyer (@triciagoyer). I am always encouraged by her Bible quotes and thoughts from her quiet times with God. One day recently she tweeted about how she was going to deliver meals to families who have to work on Thanksgiving. That made me stop and think and I replied to her about what a great idea that was.

A seed was planted.

Then, over the next couple of days, I worked on my BSF lesson in preparation for class on Wednesday. We are still in Exodus and were looking at chapters 25-31 which covers much of the instructions that God gave Moses with regard to the offerings to be brought for and construction of the Tabernacle.

Finally, I came to the last question of the week. With regard to Bezalel and Oholiab (chapter 31) and God gifting them to serve in the construction of the Tabernacle and its furnishings, the question asked, “What are you doing in your church to use the gifts God has given you?”

I was able to answer the question easily as I am very active and involved at my church. I serve in the Worship and Creative Arts ministry and sing in the choir, thus using my creative and performing arts gifts and passions that the Lord has given me. I serve as a coordinator for our Vacation Bible School, thus using my organizational and detail oriented gifts the Lord has bestowed upon me.

But after I finished answering the question I had something nagging at me. Was there some gift that I have not fully given Him? Was there something that have not been using for His glory?

The answer simply was yes.

I love to cook. I think that’s been made clear around here. And I have been using that ability and passion to bless my family and friends. But I have not given it to the Lord.

And a little water was added.

I attended class on Wednesday with a sense of expectation because I could just tell I needed a WORD. I, however, had no idea what it would be.

I answered the above question in my discussion group as we discussed it. Then we went into lecture, and um, God was doing some preaching into my soul. Just a few quotes from my notes…

* Do you ever have a burning desire to give? Are you responsive?

* He gave it (all the goods that the Israelites took out of Egypt) so that when he asked, they had it to give.

* God uses people with special talents and gifts.
* It is God who puts the skill & ability in us.
* God will always put in you what he wants to get out of you.
* The Spirit of God is in the person God uses.
* Those who have the Spirit are to do exactly what God says.

* Every person is indispensable until his work for God is done.

* We are successful and happy when we are using the skill God has given us for His glory.

And a tender little plant began to grow.

I am sensing a mandate; an order to use this passion and love of mine for His glory and to bless others. I don’t yet know what this will look like, but I know He will show me.

Because He is just faithful like that.

"... being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." ~Philippians 1:6

Election Thoughts - The Habit I Want to Choose

I know that the election was over a week ago. I know that I’m late to the “election post” party. But with my limited time to write and the way I process, it’s taken this long for me to get my thoughts down on paper. Or screen. Or whatever.

So our President-Elect Barak Obama is headed to the White House. How about that. I can’t say that I am one bit surprised.

Let’s just think about it for a minute.

He's eloquent. He's visionary. He's a leader.

I get it.

I really do. I understand why so many "undecided" voters voted for him.

Even I, a staunch conservative Republican, found myself listening to Mr. Obama during the campaign and nodding and saying, "Yeah." Only to wake up out of a seeming trance, shake my head and ask myself, "WHAT on earth just happened?"

I agree that it is very easy to get behind someone who casts vision. Who makes you feel like someone else is responsible for all your problems. Who makes you think he has the answers.

And, I think that we, as Republicans ran a sorry campaign. I was very disappointed in the Republican/McCain campaign this election cycle. As we debated one day recently (like we often do) I told Mike, "I can't tell what he believes. I don't think HE knows what he believes."

At a time of uncertainty, when people want vision and direction, Republicans offered neither.

They tried. Kind of.

Sure you can try to blame the news media bias for Mr. Obama, because it certainly was there. But I was listening for a message. I was uninspired. Imagine what the “undecideds” out there thought.

And yes, Mrs. Palin energized the campaign. For a short while. I like her, don’t get me wrong. But it was not enough.

I will say this as a positive side note: I believe that as the election results were confirmed that Tuesday evening, we as the United States of America, were an incredible example to the rest of the world that a drastic change in power can happen peacefully. That's what sets us apart from so much of the rest of the world. We were a shining example that free elections can happen and it works. Not always in our favor, but it works. And it made me love America all over again.

Now the question is, “What’s next?”

From a political point of view, I believe our Republican leadership has their work cut out for them over the next year. They have exactly that, one year, to dream and craft a vision and direction. At that point, you have to start effectively communicating that vision in anticipation of the congressional elections coming up in 2010.

We as constituents and citizens also have a job to keep an eye on our local governments and Washington. Get on the email list of any local, state, and national legislators that you can. Get your nose into what they’re doing. Let them know when you agree and when you disagree.

From a personal and spiritual standpoint, I have been under such conviction these last several days.

We are studying the Life of Moses in BSF this year and have recently been in the section of Exodus that talks about Israel’s grumbling right after their deliverance out of Egypt. How like the Israelites we can become when things don’t go our way.

I can see how we, as Republicans might feel like we are in the desert in the coming years. And it will be very easy to fall into a pattern of complaining and grumbling about the current leadership. Grumbling and complaining (or whining as I call it to my children) accomplishes nothing other than to make us feel even worse about the situation at hand. As we repeat those thoughts, especially out loud, they just get more and more ingrained into us while effectively accomplishing nothing more than making us bitter.

However, as Republicans, we need to remember how it has felt the last 6 or so years as the Democrats have lambasted Mr. Bush and Republicans in general with all manner of personal attacks. And even more, as Christians we need to be on our guard against such behavior, guarding against a root of bitterness. (See an incredible non-political post about a root of bitterness at Traveling the Road Home.)

In closing, just a few thoughts:

There is sometimes a fine line between constructive criticism/attacking the issues and grumbling while personally smearing the President. Let us guard against crossing that line.

Let us remember that when we grumble, as Israel did against Moses, we are really grumbling against the Lord.

And finally, rather than choosing to rehearse the sin of grumbling and whining and allowing it to become habit, let us choose to rehearse faith. Let THAT become our habit.

Summer doesn't have to mean time-off

Since the time he was born I've sung to my little man before putting him in his crib. Now-a-days, he asks me to come sing a song with him. But my standard of "Jesus Loves Me" doesn't always do the trick.


Son: Sing a different song.


Mom: Which song do you want to sing?


Son: The different song.


Oh, okay. I know just the one you're talking about.

So the other night we were going through this same routine and he asked me about my necklace.


Son: What's that?


Mom: It's my necklace.


Son: But what's that on your necklace?


Mom: It's a cross. You know, like Jesus died on the cross for our sins.


This is where I almost spew milk out of my nose laughing so hard... I guess if I were drinking milk...


As a point of explanation: I try to lead my kids to the right answer sometimes by prompting them with the first sound of the w____ (word).


Mom: And then, on the third day he was a____...


Son: A big boy.



Mom: A-live.

This went on for a few more sentences and I can't for the life of me remember all the cute sentence endings he came up with. But after a moment he seemed to get serious and he said to me...

Son: The soldiers cut Jesus body.

Mom: Yes, they did. They hurt him a lot.

Son: Yeah... they hurt him. The soldiers cut Jesus body.

I know he had to learn this at BSF in the preschool program because we did just finish studying Matthew. You know, we go to BSF once a week, and we've been done with it for 3 weeks now (at the time I originally wrote this on 6/4/08). I am constantly amazed at what he takes in and what he remembers. They don't baby these kids and I love volunteering in the preschool program at BSF. It's not just childcare... it is Bible teaching time. Yes, they play, but the principles of that day's story are interwoven through the entire morning and God plants those seeds of faith into them.

If you've got preschoolers, I'd highly recommend finding a day women's class of BSF to attend along with your preschooler (age 2-5). Not only will God grow you through it, but He will surely grow your kids.

And I really can't wait until Nathan is out of the preschool program and he, Sarah and I can all attend an evening class together. I hear the evening children's program is great also.

But for now, my little man continues to ask when we're going back to Bible Study. He doesn't want to take the summer off. And neither do I.

And it was profound

I had this idea recently that I was just going to slide so far back in my spiritual walk this summer. I was hoping I wouldn't, but honestly thought I would. I took steps to prevent it, but was not confident.

I was concerned about not being in a structured Bible study atmosphere on a regular basis. BSF does such a great job of holding me accountable. That's what all their guidelines are about.

If you don't know a lot about BSF, there are guidelines that we follow during our discussions. For instance, we are not supposed to directly mention or talk about a particular denomination so that we don't single anyone out since we are a non/inter-denominational group. Sounds reasonable enough, right?

But the guideline that sometimes seems to bother people is that in small group, you're not supposed to talk or share unless you have written down an answer. Some people (including me at first) think this is ridiculous and such a hindrance. But after only a short while, I began to understand it a little as we are on a pretty tight schedule and it keeps us from getting hung up one one question as someone just thinks out-loud off the top of their head without having read and studied and considered the question. (Sound like anyone you know?)

However, only recently have I come to appreciate how it holds me accountable to actually completing my lessons at home rather than just showing up to see what I can get without any prior preparation. I have really experienced how God speaks to me through my lessons as I complete them during the week and then am able to share and hear other's perspectives on different passages.

As I headed into summer, I honestly did not expect God to speak to me profoundly without me being in a "Bible Study" with a real-life teacher and all. I didn't really expect Him to show up.

I was wrong.

I posted a while back about the changes I was making in my personal quiet time after having attended a BSF seminar on the subject. I have been re-reading the Psalms and taking note of God's attributes and characteristics. I've been taking care to not focus on how much I'm reading but on what I'm learning from what I'm reading and how I'm living in light of what I've learned. (To prove my point... I've been reading Psalms since May 1st... it's June 10th and I'm only on Psalm 16... I'd say I'm taking my time.)

Last week, I noticed one day that the word HOLY kept coming to mind. I'd read it a lot and already had quite a list of verses that mentioned God being holy. Then I sensed God asking me, "What does it mean that I am holy? What does it mean to you? How will you live in light of that knowledge?" I literally couldn't go any further and I had to stop, back away from my key board and just mull on this word that was plaguing me for a while.

Holy...

Holy...

Holy...

I began looking up definitions:

• Merriam-Webster: exalted or worthy of complete devotion as one perfect in goodness and righteousness
• Brainy Quote: Set apart to the service or worship of God; hallowed; sacred; reserved from the profane or common use; holy vessels; a holy priesthood. Spiritually whole or sound; of unimpaired innocence and virtue; free from sinful affections; pure in heart; godly; pious; irreproachable; guiltless; acceptable to God.
• MSN Encarta: awe-inspiring; having a character that evokes reverence
• BSF Notes (Romans Lesson 24): "Any sacrifice must be holy - without spot or blemish and consecrated entirely to God."
  "My people's [the people in my sphere of influence specifically whom I lead - my children] greatest need is my personal holiness." -Robert Murray McCeyne
  

And then wrote this:

The words “set apart” are really sticking out to me here. And I think that’s where I’ve been failing. Have I personally been leading a life of holiness? A life set apart and consecrated entirely to God? It’s not likely.

Lord, help me here. Help me to see how I need to set my life apart and consecrate it to you. Lord, as I read again the words of Psalm 12:3 & 8 you make it clear what personal holiness is not. It is not making my lips (my words and even thoughts) my own. It is allowing you to put your words in my mouth. It is taking captive each thought so that I am driven to think your thoughts. And it is not honoring among men what is truly vile.

It’s like you’re saying once again, “Take another step. Set your life apart from that of this world and consecrate yourself entirely to me.” Oh God – I want to. But I’m scared of what that means. Lord, I’d love to know what you’re preparing me for… because it’s fairly clear at this point that there’s something. But the fact that I have no idea what it could be makes me just trust and believe that I couldn't handle it or even knowing about it at this point.



I'd say God showed up...

And it was profound.

Tragedy to Triumph

It's been a bit of an emotional week for me as I have internally been dealing with a lot of thoughts and information about loss this week. Specifically, the loss of children.

I heard about this about Steven Curtis Chapman's family from a coworker just this morning not long after I walked in the door. Oh, it's just awful.

On Monday, we spent a good deal of time in our weekly staff meeting praying for a client's daughter who is pregnant and the baby has complications such that he likely would be stillborn or will not live long after birth.

On Wednesday during BSF Share Day, a mother got up and spoke only a week after her 11 year old son's funeral. He died on Mother's Day.

Another mother got up and spoke as she approaches the 1 year anniversary of her teen-age son's death.

One of the first ladies that spoke that day told of her son's death when he was young many years ago.

Let me tell you, there was not a dry eye out of the 200 or so ladies that filled that sanctuary yesterday morning.

But I will also say that I have been so encouraged by the faith these people have shown. And I have counted it an absolute privelege to pray for each and every one of them.

You see, God allowed me to go through 2 miscarriages not long after Sarah was born. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with. Emotionally and spiritually. And finally, getting through the early months of my pregnancy with Nathan, once we decided we were ready to try again, was incredibly difficult as well.

I believe that I am in such an incredible position to pray for these people, especially our client's daughter, as a mother having been through such an experience.

Let me be clear: I don't believe He allows us to go through the pain of suffering and loss just so that we can help someone else. I don't believe that's consistent with His character. But friends, if we suffer without letting God use the suffering to change us, then it really is a waste.

Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

But catch verse 29 as well... "For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers."

I firmly believe that the "good" that is talked about in verse 28 is the being "conformed to the likeness of his Son" that is spoken of in verse 29.

Yes, we can look for circumstantial good things in the life that is around and about us. But the true good work of the Father comes when we are not only conformed, but transformed into the likeness of his Son, Jesus Christ.

I have been made accutely aware this week of how specifically I can pray for these people experiencing the loss of a child after having dealt with a similar situation myself. Even still, He is using my experience from almost 7 years ago to transform me, specifically my prayer life. Christ was able pray for us specifically as believers (John 17) and is able to help us in temptation because He's been there. He's walked a few days in our shoe leather. I can apply those same principles to my own life and pray specifically for those in similar situations. I can count it a honor to do so.

I very well may be "preaching to the choir" here and I don't mean to preach at all. It's just that I have felt bombarded by this kind of news this week and it's really got me to thinking about it.

I'm prone to vain imaginations and this kind of news just makes me wonder how I would react in such a situation.

Let me tell you, the mother that got up and spoke yesterday morning, in the midst of mourning and grief, shared verse after verse of how the Lord has been speaking to her. Oh, it was so rich. And it was pointed out to me later that it had to be because she had been hiding God's word in her heart over time.

Our client's daugter and son-in-law were the same way in the emails that my boss read from them.

Yes, God can give us a Divine Word in the midst of grief, but what's more likely is that in both of these situations these people were able to pull from thier storehouse of truth that they have been gathering and applying in their lives over time.

That's how I pray I would react. That's how I pray I will react the next time that suffering comes. Because you know what they say... there are 3 types of people in the world: those in the midst of a storm, those just coming out of a storm, and those that are headed into a storm.

Tragedy and suffering is going to come. Can I look past the tragedy to see the triumph? I pray it is so.

BSF Share Day

Today was our last BSF for the year. It was "Share Day" which is a time when those who are so led, can get up and just share what God has done in their lives this year in BSF. Kind of an "open mic" session.

As I listened to some of the things that were shared, my mind kept going back to what Esther Burroughs said in our ladies retreat at church last year. "What would happen if we all truly shared what God was doing in our lives?" And I just looked around and thought, "Yes. This is it. This is what sharing is about."

Oh, friends. I came away today so encouraged and my heart is so full that it's going to take me several days to sift through some of the testimony that was shared before I tell much about it.

Until that time, I wanted to post here a summary of what I shared today.

***

This year for me has been all about next steps.

It began last summer as I went through a depression of sorts. It was a very difficult time emotionally and spiritually for me. It was a time when I felt I was without purpose. And let me tell you, there are few things more discouraging for a Christian woman who has always seen herself as a strong Christian woman than to feel a sense of purposelessness.

I'll have to share some of my journal entries from that time in my life with you all at some point... probably as a Miracle Monday post. Because friends, what Christ did in my life during that time truly is a miracle.

My reliance on Him grew and I came out of it able to really agree with Him on some things in reference to my life. It seemed that once He finally got me to agree with Him about my primary focus and purpose in life, I could finally move forward with Him. And move forward we did.

As we headed into this year of BSF, honestly my thought was, “Matthew. It’s a gospel. I’ve heard this all my life.” I almost “yadda, yadda’d” Matthew. I did not expect to have it impact my life for all eternity the way it has this year.

I learned a lot the whole year, but when I really remember some things starting to click for me was in chapter 13 when we studied the Parable of the Soils. We came across verse 12 and (for the first time of several over the remainder of the year) the concept was presented that we get more truth from Him only as we apply what we’ve already been given and we become calloused and cannot receive more if we haven’t been faithful to apply what we’ve already been given.

I realized at the time that all too often, I sit in lecture and wonder, “Why am I not getting anything out of this lecture?” I just wasn’t there with where the lecture was. But as I began to consciously listen with spiritual ears apply the truth of what I was hearing and learning in both lecture and through my daily study and questions, I began to hear more during each lesson and lecture.

Praise the God of Truth. He gives so abundantly to those who will hear.

The BSF Personal Quiet Time seminar really changed my approach to and thoughts about my quiet time. I had a consistent quiet time, and I believe God blessed my efforts to get up early and spend some time in the Bible and in prayer. For the first time in my life, I was finally consistent about doing this. But I began sensing a couple of months ago that although I was giving Him the first of my day, I wasn’t sure I was giving Him my best.

Through the seminar the Lord challenged my concrete, “Gotta get this much done” mentality and got me to focus on evaluating my progress by my growth. Seems simple, huh? But this is a concept that has eluded me for my whole Christian life.

Through all of this, the Lord seemed to be saying to me, “Okay, we started moving forward last summer, now, it’s time to continue. It’s time to take those next steps and know me more. It’s time to go deeper in your relationship with me.” I have almost audibly heard this several times in the last 9 months.

As I have talked about some of the things I’m learning and doing as I take these next steps, it has been suggested by a very dear friend that it seems as though the Lord is preparing me for something. I have no idea what, but that very well may be the case. But right now, I’m just going to rest in the knowledge, that my God and Savior, the Creator of the universe, wants me closer and closer to Him each and every day.

Quiet Time

I posted not too long ago that I wasn’t sure that in my version of a quiet time in the mornings I was really giving God my best. Yes, I’m working to make sure He gets my first of the day (well, most of the time anyways)… but is it my best?

Well, after last Wednesday, the answer is a resounding NO.

I attended a BSF Personal Quiet Time Seminar last Wednesday afternoon. It really challenged me and reinforced my thinking from the other day and my concern of whether what I was doing was really building my relationship with God.

The Lord really spoke to me about how I have approached my quiet time. For instance, how beneficial is it really to my relationship with the Lord if I read a passage and have little to no idea what I just read?

Honestly, I think it has been fine up to now. For one thing, what I have been doing has at least gotten me into the habit of getting up and getting into the Word first thing in the morning. I do believe He has blessed that time and has spoken to me in spite of myself. But as with the rest of our study of Matthew, He is challenging me to take the next step… to go deeper with Him.

One way that Tonya challenged us to look at it is not just getting through the book or getting a certain amount read. This is very difficult for my concrete goal-oriented personality. As I look back on my quiet time recently, I feel like the conversation has gone something like this…

Me: Ok. Reading Amos… good, I’ll be able to check that book off the list..
God: Ok, what did I tell you through Amos?
Me: I dunno. I’m reading.
God: But-
Me: Excuse me God…I’m reading. Let’s not interrupt.

This is a ground-breaking, head-turning, amazing concept. Are you ready? Here goes…
I am to measure my progress not by how much I’ve read or what I’ve done, but by my growth in my walk with Him. *GASP*

The other element of a quiet time that was discussed was prayer. I have an entirely different set of issues here. Most of which is simply attention span when talking about my early morning quiet times. Otherwise, I’m finding myself, like I think many of us do, in Peter’s shoes.

The main theme of our lecture last week was injustice. How do we respond to it? Do we respond like many characters in the Bible, like Peter for instance? Or do we respond rightly, like Jesus?

The Lord told Peter in Matthew 26:41, “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.” And yet, what did Peter do? Did he pray as the Lord told him?

No. He slept. He slept right through the opportunity he had to become in tune with God the Father’s will for His Son. And what was the consequence of being out of tune with God’s will?

He needlessly fought back during Christ's arrest. He chopped off the ear of the high priest’s servant, which could have landed him on a cross next to Jesus were it not for Jesus healing the man.

Then what did he do? He denied association with or even knowing Jesus three times, just as Jesus predicted.

I do tend to have a knee-jerk reaction when faced with injustice. I am better than I used to be about this, but there’s always room for growth, right? And, I have learned through some personal struggles with temptation that prayer and reliance on God’s deliverance from it is really the only way out. But I have not encountered my last dealing with this. Remembering this fact will be the key here.

So, my plan? Because, you know, I am nothing if not a woman with a plan.

I am re-reading the Psalms for my quiet time. But not just reading them. As I read (sometimes only a few verses at a time) I am looking for and asking God to reveal His attributes to me. I am seeking to know Him more personally and more intimately through His revealed character in His Holy Word. I am also praying that scripture back to him and typing out my prayer to help keep me on task and keep my mind from wandering.

So, I am formulating a way to incorporate this new plan into my blog. Stay tuned. I may be doing a weekly thing with this.

Good Stuff... God Stuff.

Oh I've had a heck of a day so far, friends. A heck of a day.

But it couldn't have been for a better reason.

BSF is on Wednesdays of course. And this morning I was in the children's program. I got to hang out with the kindergartners in my friend Nicolle's class.

Super fun and a super cute group of kids, might I add.

So, the plan was to take N up to our friend Debbie's house right after BSF to let him eat lunch and take a nap while I went back and listened to the end of the lecture with the rest of the children's leaders and attended a Personal Quiet Time seminar.

STOP... slight change of plan. Thank you Lord.

The children's leader Mary Ann kind of "convinced" me to go ahead and stay to listen to lecture and then take N to Debbie's house and come back for the seminar. I should have enough time, she said.

Well, not enough time to use the bathroom, I found out.

Sometimes I'm just convinced that I need a catheter and a bag to carry around. I don't have time for this silly stuff like going to the bathroom. *huff*

Thankfully, Tonya (teaching the seminar), I'm sure after seeing me turning yellow and squirming in my seat uncontrollably, had us take a break to stretch & go to the bathroom. THANK YOU LORD!

So, it really was a good busy. There were things that I heard at the beginning of the lecture that I really needed to hear. Thank you for intersecting my life, there, Lord. It's all still banging around in my head right now, so I can't coherently post about it except to say this... it was God ordained that I not only hear the beginning of that lecture but also to attend the quiet time seminar.

Good stuff, friends.

God stuff.

Mullings

We are continuing our study of Matthew in BSF and last week we looked at chapters 22 – 23. Jesus is in Jerusalem the week before his crucifixion and the priests are asking some interesting questions. Leading questions that they were hoping would trap Him into saying something that would make enough people mad that they could get rid of him.

In lecture our teaching leader brought up something very interesting concerning this questioning by the priests that I never would have thought of. She even said that it was a new thought to her.

In the Old Testament (I don’t have a reference yet), when a lamb was brought as an offering, a sacrifice, the priest would inspect it to be sure that it was without blemish. Her suggestion was that possibly, this questioning by the priests in Matthew, was the same thing. Without them realizing it, they were showing The Lamb to be without fault; without blemish; the perfect sacrifice.

As I considered this, I thought about acceptable offerings and that took me back to Cain and Able. One brought his best, an acceptable offering that was pleasing to God. The other brought only some of the fruits, but not necessarily the best or first.

I, then began to relate all this to myself. My regular morning routine goes that I get up, put on some clothes, go into our kitchen table and read a chapter from the Bible, try to pray a little, then go exercise, shower and get ready for work.

For quite a while now, I have considered my getting up and reading a chapter from the Bible and praying an acceptable offering. But is it? Is God really pleased with my fuzzy head and highly distracted by yawning prayers? Yes I’m there and that’s important, but is that really all that matters? Would I have gotten to know my husband so well if all our conversations were like that? Am I bringing God my best - my first? Or is this just some of what I have? Is this really the best I can do?

So, internet, how can I wake myself up a little more in the mornings (without changing the order of my routine) to be more alert for my quiet time?

Mullings...

I want to be packing up my scrapbook stuff for our crop this weekend. And yet, here I find myself journaling. The journaling is probably more important, so I’ll continue on.

I’ve been mulling over my BSF lesson from last week and the lecture we had yesterday morning. The passage was Matthew 13:1-30, 36-43 which includes the Parable of the Soils and the Parable of the Weeds. Both of these parables I was familiar with and had heard many times before. What I had NOT heard/noticed before was how Jesus explained why he was speaking in parables.

If you look back at chapter 11, Jesus really gives the people a hard time about their indifference toward him. Then, he begins to speak to them in chapter 13 in parables that he does not explain to the vast majority of them – only his disciples who ask for the meaning receive his explanation. And when asked why he was speaking to the people in parables, one of the verses in his explanation was verse 12, a verse that I’ve never really gotten before.

“Whoever has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him.” Matthew 13:12

What? It sounds awfully rude and contrary to other teachings when you think of it in human or material terms, which I think is how I always read it. However, this passage finally made sense to me in the context of the rest of the chapter and in light of what Luke has to say. Consider also the “sister” verse in the gospel according to Luke:

“Therefore consider carefully how you listen. Whoever has will be given more; whoever does not have, even what he thinks he has will be taken from him.” Luke 8:18

Oh, I see! He’s talking about the revelation of truth from Him.

So, I determined that I need to listen with ears open to what the Holy Spirit has for me. If I’m listening for anything else, then I may hear the wrong thing. Maybe I hear what I want to hear, but maybe that’s not what God really had for me.

But also I need to listen and act. Put the truth that I hear into practice. Otherwise, I am treating him with the same indifference that he chastised the multitudes for in Matthew 11.

One principle that our teaching leader gave us was this: Truth (or understanding) doesn’t become yours until it becomes you. When we are not willing to apply it to our own lives, we become calloused and will not receive more truth, and even what we’ve had could be taken away. I guess it’s kind of a “use it or lose it” kind of thing.

I’ve found myself bewildered and frustrated at times when lectures haven’t made any sense and I’ve felt like I walked away with nothing. Why do you suppose that is? Was I not listening with spiritual ears open to truth from the Holy Spirit? Is it because I have not put into practice other truths and therefore no more was going to be given to me? Hmmm...

So I feel like this week is a test for me. Will I put into practice several truths that have been revealed to me the last couple of weeks. Like daily asking for a new heart. Like making an effort to make Sunday a truly set-apart and holy day. Will I put act on what he has sown in my heart? Or will I treat him with indifference and allow my heart to become so calloused that I don't hear the truth at all?

I choose to act.

And those are my mullings.

A New Year

Today was the first day of a new year of BSF (Bible Study Fellowship). This was Nathan's first time to attend and he was so excited this morning, saying "bible tubby" all morning. He was excited, that is, until we got to his room and he became overwhelmed with an overly exuberant teacher. I actually had to tell her that she was overwhelming him. You could just see it in his face... most of you know the look that I'm talking about. He went in screaming, but calmed down shortly and I actually made it in to the worship center for our opening time of hymns. I can't remember the last time I actually made it for that. We had a great morning and I am so excited and expectant of what God is going to show both of us this year in our study of Matthew.