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Tuesday, September 11, 2007


I remember where I was, as I’m sure all of you do, when I heard the news – in the car on the way to help my sister do some things around her house. Mike called me and just told me to turn on my radio.

“What station?”

He answered, “It doesn’t matter.”

I remember us just being on the phone together as I listened and we learned at the same time that the Pentagon was also on fire.

“What is going on?” I asked quite distressed.

“Nobody knows.”

Can you believe it’s been 6 years? I can’t. I’m sure just like much of the country, I feel like it was just a few days ago that the events of 9/11 rocked our world and shook the foundation of our great land.

I recently encountered a situation where I felt like one thing right after another just shook my life. I was coming apart because there’s only so much shaking we can take. The circumstances drove me and the Lord drew me straight to His word with a heart that was pleading, “God, give me a word from you right now. If I don’t have a word from you, I am literally going to fall apart.”

As I sat down with my Bible, I pulled out some notes from a Beth Moore teaching session I had attended just a week or so before. The Lord led me straight to this passage:

“Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our ‘God is a consuming fire.’ ” Hebrews 12:28-29.

Just let that soak in a moment. We are receiving a kingdom that CANNOT be shaken. Oh what an encouragement that passage was to me on that day a few months ago when I felt shaken to the core. The kingdom that I am a part of as a child of God cannot be shaken. I can stand firm on Him.

Let us all remember that fact as we also remember and pay tribute to those who died that fateful day 6 years ago.

On a similar, but separate note (quite literally), there is a song that we have been singing in choir recently that has really been speaking to my life situation and the place I have found myself spiritually recently.

God (You are my God)

Oh, Thou who knowest my beginning,
Thou who created the plan,
Who orchestrated my life’s journey,
God, You are my God.

God of decisions, creator of answers,
Thou who ordained my way,
Through my transition, held my position,
God, You are my God.

I will forever give You praise.
Honor and celebrate Your Name.
God of the past, present and who is to come,
Oh, God, You are my God.

Whatever you do with me is alright,
You have my total trust.
All glory and honor, dominion, and power,
God You are my God!

Let those words just fall and rest on you for a moment.

Some of them were very revealing and eye opening to me. He knows where I come from. He created the plan. We all know how much I love a plan, but I've always viewed it as my own. To understand anew that He created it, was a fresh revelation to me. He has orchestrated my life’s journey and put me exactly where he has wanted me each and every step of the way.

The Holy Spirit has just been speaking to me about this as He has been re-revealing Himself to me as sovereign over my life, which is one aspect of His character that got many of us through the events of 9/11/01. It’s something that I know, but I suppose it’s been mostly head knowledge and not something I have truly had to live out and depend on Him for. So, for me to be able to sing at the top of my lungs in my car (and you know I do – and pretty well imho) but also from the depths of my being that whatever He does with me is alright and that He has my total trust… well, that’s huge.

And that’s just what I did today as I was on my way to my 2nd interview with Ameriprise. I had such a sense of peace as I entered the building that felt completely relaxed and I feel that the interview went well.

My dear friend and fellow sahm, Cristel, asked me if I had any brain freezes or lapses, and I said surprisingly, no. She felt encouraged that I could still have an intelligent adult conversation. We laughed at the thought of me reverting to my current role and reaching across the table with a tissue and telling him to blow, or asking if he wanted me to tie his shoe. I’m picturing the wife in the movie Mr. Mom as she reaches over and begins to cut up her boss’s food when they are on the company jet.

So, I guess I’m just in the waiting phase right now. I continue to pray for patience and clear direction where this job is concerned. I still have so many concerns: for Nathan’s care, for my involvement at the school, for my poor pitiful house. I am confident that if it’s where I’m supposed to be, that all those little details will work out, but they are just concerns that I have.

Lord, calm my fears and concerns. Give Mike and I a clear indication if this is truly what You have for our family at this time.