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Monday, July 21, 2008

NOG - Week 3

Talk about in your face, life changing revelation. The last couple of weeks have seen just that for me in this study.

I have come to realize that I have serious trust issues. Yes, I have problems trusting people. I put up defenses and play the, “I won’t get hurt this way,” game. But it also translates into not truly trusting God.

After I came to this realization, and through the help of some outside reading I was doing (Don’t fall off your chair, I was doing outside reading. I’ll post about that later), I came to see that I have been living with independence as an idol. Absolutely addicted to it. Wrapped up in and attached by fear to independence.

I had been plagued for several days by the fact that I was searching and felt like I kept dancing around what the core issue was. I’d come up with this or that but nothing that seemed to really be what I thought was the core problem. (Which is partly why I didn't post anything about week 2. I never felt finished with it.) Then, when it hit me, after I really realized it, it was like a ton of bricks was lifted off my shoulders.

I don’t know yet how I am going to deal with this idol. But I do know that I’ll be depending on Jesus to help me tear it down.


Tiffany said...

Hmmm, this is sounding more and more like something I'm gonna have to study...

ConservaChick said...

I'm always shocked when God reveals an idol. It's never quite what I'd thought it would be. Great post. ~Karlie