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Thursday, October 30, 2008

Expectations - Part 3

Part 1

Part 2


Another thing (besides passing the one year mark at my job) that got me thinking on the subject of my expectations with respect to my home life now that I'm working was a post at Rocks in my Dryer from a few weeks ago. She is doing a series on Thursdays called “What I’d Like for You to Know.” She brings in guest bloggers who share their own stories on specific topics. One was about working outside the home moms. Shalee’s post really was very spot-on. Only she gets up at some crazy ridiculous hour earlier than I do each morning.

So, my expectations? I have realized that they were completely unrealistic.

I guess I expected that it would be as easy as it was when Sarah was little – even though I now have two children and one is in grade school. I had no idea what a difference this made.

I expected that I would be able to clean my house on a day off or a Saturday morning – even though my day off is well-spent in Bible Study and my house is quite a bit larger than the one we used to live in. There are days that I miss staying in my pj's on my day off... but then I get to BSF and I don't miss it a bit.

I expected that I would eventually be able to justify having a housekeeper come and clean at least once a month – even though we are desperately trying to pay off some debt and it won’t ever be in the budget.

I expected that I would be more organized about keeping up with the household chores – even though I have never been organized about it… ever.

I expected that I would be able to scrapbook a little every night like I did when Sarah was little – even though almost every creative cell in my body is worn out by the time the kids are in bed. Sometimes I'm able to write/blog and sometimes not. Sometimes I go days without being able to read all of your blogs. And I miss you when it's like that.

I expected that my husband would help me out a little – and he helps me out a LOT. He takes on so much and I would never be able to do everything that I do if it were not for my man.

The bottom line that I go back to any time I feel discouraged that I am not living up to the expectations I have of myself is that they are just that… self imposed. I believe God has called me to work where I am. I do not know why. But I believe that there is a reason.

So, if that is true, then I MUST also believe that things around my house will be fine… or that the Lord will give my kids some divine amnesia where the house is concerned.

And I believe that my time outside of work is much better spent in Bible study and just being with my kids than making sure that there is no dust on the piano and no dog hair bunnies around the edges of the floor. It’s okay if the bare minimum only gets done most of the time. I will have times when the state of the house overwhelms me… and at that point, I do need to act… and fast.

But generally, just know that if you come to my house at any given time, there WILL be dust, there WILL be dog hair, and there WILL be laundry. But there will also be an open Bible and a well fed and well cared for family.

Even if they do have to live in a messy, if not dusty house.

And those, I believe, are some realistic expectations.


rusty'swife said...


Oh Praise God You get it. I would much rather come to you house, walk in and feel the presence of the Lord, and the peace that comes with a close knit family, then to see my reflection on the floor or in the kitchen cabinets.

You are a jewel. I wish that I had learned this as early as you have. Would have saved much strife in my house.


Angie said...

A clean house never lasts long (at least that's the way it is over here), but spending time with the Lord and your family is so significant and has eternal value. You go girl!
(and feel free to come over and admire our messy house anytime ;o)


Tiffany said...

Messy House Moms Unite!!! Yeah, we think relating with God and feeding and loving our families is more important than self OR other imposed standards. Wanna make sumfun of it???!!!

Melinda said...

I will tell you that I was a mom that liked (was in bondage to) a clean house. My kids grew up to be fairly well adjusted, but I know that I missed opportunities with them in favor of a folded load of laundry or a clean sink.

I'm also a people-pleaser, so a lot of my house-image was tied up with my self-image. Here's a story you might like to read, that expounds further.

Love on your family - Love on your God. Your floors will never know the difference. :o)